Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...Self Sabotage

Self sabotage is a strange thing. I have told my kids a million times, the only person that is going to hold you back is the person you face in the mirror every morning. If you are an adult, can you imagine having the opportunity to go back to your teenage self and have just 1 hour. How many times did you feel unworthy or lack self confidence? Why do we do it?!? When there are so many people fighting against us, why do we become our biggest risk.

This is not new, think about David. He was King and God had given him everything. However, he desired Bathsheba. Bathsheba was a married woman whose husband was a soldier for David. While he was at war, David watched her bathe. (first form of pornography) He knew this was wrong, but did that stop him? No. If that was not bad enough, he involved his staff in helping him to bring her to the castle and have sex with her. He was a witness for God. His staff knew what he was doing. I can't imagine how this effected his witness. He continued to be driven farther and farther into his sin until eventually he had Bathsheba's husband killed, which involved even more people. God had done so much for David yet he still sabotaged himself. His self sabotage caused his sons death. You can find this story in 2 Samuel 11. When you read the bible, remember that these are real stories. Think about how you would feel, what people would be saying.

We do the same exact thing. Maybe we do not commit adultery, (maybe we do) but we still self sabotage. We self sabotage for so many reasons. Boredom, lack of seeing the big picture, lack of self confidence, lack of self worth, lack of a plan, and fear. Basically, we listen to the devils lies. The devil is a liar. John 10:10 says,

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

Don't make it easy on the devil. If the devil can make you believe you are unworthy, incapable or distract you...he wins. He does not even have to involve another person if he can cause you to self sabotage. Don't let the devil put lies in your head. Below are the most common reasons of self-sabotage:

1. Distractions and autopilot: Netflix binges, overeating, taking the easy road...these are all autopilot actions. I did not even speak of the most common, iPhones! They steal precious moments everyday from families. The devil gives us so many distractions and we take them like candy. We must have a plan and goals daily. We can't expect our path to change if we keep walking the same direction. Taking yourself off autopilot takes action, boldness and courage.

2. Procrastination: Procrastination is so common yet so strange. Most often, when we know the task is hard or we do not want to do it, we put it off. Look at the story of Jonah in the bible! Procrastination seems so common and innocent, but it will always lead to failure. However, when we finally finish the task we have been putting off, it provides us freedom. A hard conversation, a job we hate to do, and studying are all things we often put off. We even procrastinate on praying for God's will. We may not like what he has to say. If you read the bible, you likely already know what God is telling you to do, but not going to church, not seeking council from a christian friend, not spending time with God seems so much easier. I promise you, no matter how hard the road is, God's way is better.

3. Self-isolation: When we are overwhelmed, embarrassed, sinning, worried, scared, and/or, guilty, we often self isolate. When we are overwhelmed we self-isolate. When we feel like we are not worthy we self isolate. 13% of the population are on depression medications and 9% are on anxiety medications. Many others self-medicate by feeding an addiction like drugs and alcohol. It can become really confusing when the addiction is not necessarily "bad" like running, social media, overextending yourself. Basically, we will do anything to hide our pain and appear like everything is going great. IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY! Life is hard and wonderful. It was meant to share with each other. If you are keeping from being with people because you are down for more than a couple days, it is time proactively find a plan B. Being in leadership for many years, I will tell you that all people hurt. You would not believe the things your co-workers, neighbors, and friends are going through. Even that one that looks perfect on Instagram! In fact, some of the funniest, people in the world are actually dying inside. We need to be Jesus's eyes and ears and see when even the "stepford wife" is truly hurting behind the perfection. We are all just people and we all feel joy and pain. I bet if you are vulnerable, you will find others being vulnerable with you too.

God says in Psalms 23:

The Lord is my shepherd; I have what I need. 2 He lets me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters. 3 He renews my life; he leads me along the right paths[a] for his name’s sake. 4 Even when I go through the darkest valley,[b] I fear no danger, for you are with me; your rod and your staff—they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in[c] the house of the Lord as long as I live.[d]

God is with you in the valley and he will give you everything you need. He will comfort you.

4. Self-criticism: If you grew up poor, you may feel you don't deserve or are capable of greatness. If you grew up rich you may believe you do not deserve your opportunities because you did not "earn" them. We are all insecure and unworthy but our God is great! You were made for great things. Your children were made for great things. Your were wonderfully made by God and are worthy because you are a child of GOD! You were made in His image. Do you screw up? YES, but God says you were made in His image. He placed you above the angels per the bible! IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU, it is about HIM. No, you CAN'T do it, but God can. You may feel you are incapable of greatness You are right! God is capable of the impossible! YOU NEED TO GET IN THE WORD UNTIL THE WORD GETS INTO YOU! God uses the weak and unlikely. You have to believe that YOU may not be great, but God is great and he is living in you.

5. Being the Martyr. Are you trying so hard to be perfect that instead of listening to God, you are trying to please everyone. This is actually self-sabotage. You teach sunday school, take on extra projects at work, decide to throw a party for your friend, volunteer at your child's school, and then you become overwhelmed and burnt out. You have no time for God and are exhausted. You will likely to become frustrated, disappointed, and depressed. God has BIG PLANS FOR YOU. You have to focus and prioritize. Your goal is not to make everyone happy, but to do Gods work. We often feel we are too busy to read God's word, pray and meditate, but we are too busy NOT to know His will for your life. That is like saying you are too busy to go to the bathroom, put gas in your car, or eat! These are necessary to keep moving forward. A relationship with God is necessary. You must know His will to have a successful life. What is God's will for your life? It may not be that thing you are killing yourself to achieve. It may not make your popular. It may not make you the favorite team mom or dad. It may not make you the most valued employee. However, I know whatever God's plan is for your life, that is the thing you should strive to prioritize and focus.

We are so blessed to have a God that loves us and wants a relationship with us.

I pray that we stop self sabotaging and start leading a life of impact.

I leave you with God's blessing in Hebrews 13: 20-21:

20 Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep,

21 equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

I love you guys!

Crystal